Breaking Free From the Expectations of Others
All of us, especially in our natural (unawakened) state find our lives bound by certain limits. Most of these are self-imposed but some are assumed. One such type of limit is found in the expectations of others.
“Others” is a broad group and can include individuals that we know, groups of people, or institutions. But the expectations that others have for us can be extremely powerful in their ability to hinder our growth. We tend to place a lot of value in what others think of us.
When I was in high school I had a certain reputation in the eyes of others. I wasn’t popular at all. I wasn’t by any means athletic and only moderately academic. I was a bit of a loner.
As time went on the picture others had of me became cemented. And because I knew that others saw me a certain way I believed that I couldn’t easily break free from that. There’s a certain fear that would overtake me in the thought of deviating from the collective image.
If I would have tried out for a sports team, for instance, could you imagine the laughs I would get? I could. I couldn’t very well approach the popular clique either. It didn’t seem that I could be anything but what people wanted me to be.
The difference between my attempts to do or be something new and the perceptions and reactions of others would be too high for me to bear. And in that fear and discomfort, I was locked from reaching my potential.
All of us find this limit manifest in our lives at times. The housewife who is considering going to work for the first time. The construction worker contemplating going to college to get a business degree. Basically, anyone that imagines a life different from the one they are currently living.
It is possible to overcome the problem of expectations. One answer, drastic for some, is a complete life change. I clearly remember the feeling of freedom I had when I left my high school behind to begin college. It was so refreshing. Not a soul there knew me. I was free to be whoever I wanted. Many of us don’t have the luxury to just leave everyone behind and start over, however.
Fortunately, there is another way. The influence of expectations lies in the strength of identity that we tend to find in others. For some, this identification can be very strong. This is the power of peer pressure. We are driven to do things that we don’t want to do simply because others want us to. They have a mold that they expect us to fit into. It’s hard to resist.
But with a greater identity of self and less identification with anything outside of us we can break free from the powerful limit of expectations.
It takes a certain trust in oneself to detach and live authentically. But that is the cure for this limit. We have to find our value within ourselves and understand that we all have a unique purpose to fulfill—a particular call or callings that require our commitment at the expense of what anyone else thinks.
To make this profound shift requires a healthy dose of awareness. For me, this was no less than an awakening of my soul. No matter how it comes, find yourself. Determine who you really are, discover what it is that you are here for. Find the answers to those two things and you won’t worry again about what other people think of you. You will be well on your way to achieving great things.
Closing Thoughts and Questions
Feel free to journal your thoughts or leave a comment or comments below to generate further discussion:
- What are some of the expectations you believe that others have of you that are keeping you from progressing to the next stages of your journey? Write them down. This act alone helps to bring awareness. Include your feelings about being limited in this manner. Do you experience frustration, anger, or even fear? It can be painful to bring attention to feelings such as these but only in addressing pain will you be able to advance. As you find victory, write that down too and, if you would, please share in the comments section below.
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.