7 Quick Tips For Handling Fear You Might Not Have Tried
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Fear can be so debilitating and destructive. Its presence keeps us from reaching our potential and living our most powerful life.
Imagine what you could accomplish if fear wasn’t in the way. What could the world do if fear was put in its rightful place? Our lives would be so much more fruitful and enjoyable. In fact, life just might become fun again!
Here are 7 quick tips for handling your fear (that you might not have tried):
Tip 1- Mentally Associate With Things You ARE Strong At
Think of some things where you shine and where confidence does not pose a problem. Doing this will help put you in a much more empowered state. Once you feel this way you will be more confident in other areas and therefore become less fearful.
When I was beginning Toastmasters and feeling the apprehension that comes with the prospect of public speaking I would find myself with debilitating fear prior to speeches.
I learned a technique from Tony Robbins, however, that helped me jump the curve. In his book, Unlimited Power, Tony describes the ability to manipulate one’s states in order to enhance performance or to engage in something fearful.
What I began to do was envision myself engaging in something I felt completely empowered doing and associate that with my fear of speaking. For me, I used memories of my days in competitive motorcycle riding because I did so well with it and had such fun. When I focused on these memories I could initiate that strong feeling again that I always had when I was on the bike. I could feel the vibrations of the bike as I revved the engine and I could even smell the fuel. I would picture people watching me and marvel at what I could do on that motorcycle. And I shifted that right over into the eyes of my audience marveling at me walk up to the lecturn and give a powerful speech.
This technique helped me develop so much confidence and which would then translate into a remarkable and confident speech. If something scares you try to develop a more empowered state by the method I shared here.
Tip 2- Take Baby Steps
There is no need to slay the dragon in one fell swoop of the sword. Chances are if you put too much energy into the swing you will just close your eyes and miss. Then what have you got? A quick failure that will just reinforce the fear you were trying to kill.
If you are going to conquer a fear once and for all you are going to gain a piece of your life back. So taking a little time to strategically beat this beast down isn’t a waste of time. Besides, by dancing with it for a little you can stare it in the eye a while before you kill it!
Resolving fear typically can’t be accomplished in one action. It’s a process. It takes time to truly build a resistance to something that has tortured you for so long.
If your particular fear happens to be snakes you aren’t going to try to defeat the fear by going straight to charming cobras. Rather, you would probably want to wipe out your ignorance first through some appropriate reading or online videos. Then you might want to go to visit a zoo or serpentarium. And finally, you might want to try holding a harmless snake in the presence of a qualified handler.
The key is that you have to build up trust and that trust takes time to develop. A little strategy and repetition can go a long way toward real results.
Tip 3- Be Open To Outside Influences
Sometimes we only become brave enough when the right person comes along and expects us to do the thing we are afraid of.
Here is a case in point. When I was young, my dad tried to teach me to ride a dirt bike. Now, most kids would be falling all over themselves for this. But I was afraid. As a side-note, I was also a little confused about the whole clutch thing anyway.
But when my sister’s boyfriend came over to ride bikes with her he also managed to talk me into getting on the bike for myself. I wasn’t really even that afraid. How could I be? This bigger, better, badder guy expected me to ride it. Simply because it was Mike teaching me and not my dad I found the courage (and the will to figure out the clutch) that I didn’t have otherwise.
I’m glad I was open to that influence and didn’t shy away from it. I went on to have a great passion for riding and did quite well competitively.
Be sure to be accepting of those external influences when they come along. They just might be enough to push you over your fears.
Tip 4- Be Vulnerable
As opposed to a chance outside influence, this is where I proactively open myself up to others and admit that which I am fearful of. Sometimes, just by sharing a fear with someone else we feel more in control.
Under the scrutiny of another person’s eyes, it can help us realize maybe it wasn’t that bad.
Or we might find encouragement from someone else once we open up to them. They might just have the perspective we need to handle our fear and move on.
In my experience, anytime we knock down walls between us and others or us and God, powerful things happen. This is because connection is a spiritual force.
It’s when we close ourselves off to others that we find ourselves isolated in more ways than one. Problems become bigger, opportunities become smaller, and our fears grow stronger.
I’m completely convinced that we live in a universe of energy and its flow does great work. If you feel stuck in your fear, tear down the walls, open up, and be vulnerable.
Tip 5- Try To Be Real, Not Right
Fear has a way of fueling a desire to control outcomes. Using my example of Toastmasters again I would usually try to memorize every line in a speech so that I wouldn’t mess anything up. But, such unrealistic goals only tripped me up and prevented me from giving a natural, heartfelt speech.
And I could never get the speech right anyway. So then I would be angry for spending five times as much time as I should have and still falling on my face.
One day, a powerful phrase hit me that I try to live every day of my life by now: “Be real, not right.”
This has set me free to just be myself and not be afraid of imperfection. If I haven’t said it before, I will right now— I am a human. There is nothing wrong with that because guess what—you are too. We all are and we can never escape imperfection. There is, however, power in finally admitting it.
Other people can’t even relate to perfection so why do want to personify it? People want to see that you are real.
As I practiced this new mantra I began to notice a couple of things. One, the speech came easier to me. I could just remember a few key points and trust that it would come together. And, second, everybody enjoyed my speech more including myself. It turns out having fun is a pretty good antidote to fear.
If you are afraid of how you look at something, don’t try to be so right all the time. Remember, just be real.
Tip 6- Exercise Faith
Peter walked on water until he took his eyes off of the source of his power. What could possibly be so distracting that it would cause this man to take his gaze off of the Son of God? Fear. Peter only saw the danger.
Faith looks beyond the intrepid waves. It knows, or is assured, that things will work out because God is not only able but willing to help us beat all that scares us.
That’s another one of those things that is easier said than done.
But a finely-tuned faith can conquer many fears. It sees not only a higher power but is also bolstered by a higher purpose. When you are convinced that things will work out, or even if they don’t that there will be purpose in it, then anyone can do just about anything.
Faith truly believes there is more behind the scenes than what we see. It does take a personal belief in God and the power of the spiritual universe. That is up to you to figure out and appropriate on your own. But when you do it will help you make monumental advances over your fear.
Tip 7- Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Even if it’s not in the area of your particular fear, begin to do things that are outside of your normal comfort zone. This gives you a sense of empowerment. Empowerment helps you regain a sense of control in your life and that is key.
It seems to me that the most fearful people are those who don’t do ANYTHING because of their fear. They just plant themselves in front of a TV. That isolation only keeps them locked inside their comfort zone and more paranoid than ever that something might disrupt it.
But regularly testing your comfort takes that element away. You come to expect some challenge and as you do, you find yourself rising to meet it much easier each time.
Take a class that you might normally think will be a struggle. Join Toastmasters and learn the art of public speaking and leadership. Teach a Sunday school class. Do anything that challenges you. As you break out of your comfort zone your ability to handle fear will grow so much stronger.
Take Away
So there you have it— 7 quick tips for handling your fear. They will only be effective if you implement them. You can’t just look at them and acknowledge them. If you are serious about handling your fear you’ve got to take action.
Parked cars don’t steer very well and parked lives can’t change course either.
No matter how scary it is you’ve got to turn the key and put your life in gear. As you begin to move you will find progress. Momentum can work against you at first but pretty soon it works for you and is difficult to stop. It all starts with the decision to go.
What’s your tip for handling fear?
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to help others find their purpose, get unstuck, and impact the world. These goals are important to him because these were all struggles that he faced himself and knew the frustrations of first-hand. In the spring of 2015, he experienced a spiritual calling that clarified these questions for him. It is his purpose now to help others find that same clarity so that they too may begin to “live their most powerful life.”
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.