Our Inner Dialog As The Source of Suffering
More than anything else, could it be that suffering comes from words? In my experience, by words we create stories for ourselves that have the potential for empowerment but, more often than not, end up creating fear, doubt, or self-anger in ourselves.
When life happens to us we often tell ourselves a story. Unfortunately, that story tends to place blame on oneself, on others, or even life itself. The inner narrative is often a perpetual one and we tend to pick up where we last left off, ever-reinforcing a pattern of disempowerment.
The words that we tell ourselves are often the words of a bully. I, for one, hated to be bullied in school. Yet, if I’m not careful, I take myself right back there to that place of sticks and stones. Those childhood feelings of not being good enough, of missing the common standard, of not fitting in—of not being connected—was a source of terrible suffering for me. And, yet, as an adult I often made myself feel the same way by the stories I would tell myself.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I can’t do the things that other people can.”
“I’ll never figure life out.”
And with this running dialog, I beat myself into the ground more and felt worse as the months and years rolled on. As time progressed I felt as though I had fewer days to turn it all around and panic ensued. More words and more stories and, ultimately, more suffering.
The cure for this onslaught of suffering is silence. Not just silence but silent attention. This can be practiced in what Eckhart Tolle and others refer to as the act of presence. This powerful method finds the power of the moment. In presence, there is no description of the experiences of life, no good or bad, just awareness and, if anything, gratitude and joy for the moment. By focusing on the only moment we have our inner dialog becomes silenced and our suffering lessens.
I also have a practice that I call, “Centering.” It’s very similar to the concept of presence but places attention, not on the external environment (the birds chirping, feeling the breeze on one’s face, or listening to one’s own breathing, for instance) but on our deeper inner consciousness, a place I call our “Knowing & Being.” To access this place really isn’t all that mystical. It simply requires a discipline to shut out not only all thought but all perception of the outside world. In so doing it is possible to find a place of great joy and comfort which, of course, is exactly what we need when trying to elude suffering.
By centering, we find bearing on solid rock. We can’t be shifted by the sands of our inner voice and resulting emotions. When centered, we access the deepest part of us, a place far deeper than words can reach. Where thoughts are floating in the canopy, our center is realized on the jungle floor. As our conscious centers, we reach a place where Being is experienced without the need to express words and Knowing is felt without the desire to seek answers. In our centering, we surrender those rights and find our final freedom from suffering.
Closing Thoughts and Questions
Feel free to journal your thoughts or leave a comment or comments below to generate further discussion:
- Reflect on some of the last times that “life happened.” What role did words play in the aftermath? Were they helpful or hurtful? Would you describe the result as suffering?
- Take some time to practice presence. Eckhart Tolle is the respected authority in this technique (I suggest that you read or view his comments regarding this subject if you wish to discover more. Find a quiet place, free from distraction, and work towards silencing your inner voice. Raise your awareness of your surroundings as you take your attention away from your thoughts. As presence becomes a more natural practice it will be much easier to slip into it when circumstances would otherwise affect you—and the resulting inner dialog creates greater suffering.
- Practice the concept of centering as well. Instead of finding awareness of your environment turn inward and find awareness of your inner conscious. Words, here, will cease as well and be replaced by an inexplicable sense of Being. The stronger our sense of Being the less that circumstances can knock us off-balance. As Knowing & Being increases the less suffering we can experience because we are at the essence of us, not circumstance.
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.