The Excuse Trap
I’ve struggled with a number of excuses in my life and still do to this day.
In previous years I had some strong ones, not the least of which was avoiding issues of financial security for the future. My ability to save or invest wisely just wasn’t there. I told myself money wasn’t important or that there would always be time to figure it out later. Five years down the road I would tell myself the same thing and then five years later…well you get the picture. I felt completely stuck because of my lame reasons to avoid responsibility.
Excuses trap us in three primary ways and prevent us from reaching our potential. See if you can recognize any of these ways that excuses limit you:
Trap #1- We can’t feel good about ourselves when we constantly cheat ourselves.
When we lower our standards of responsibility our self-esteem gets lowered too. If we allow ourselves to eat poorly for a week and gain five pounds, our self-esteem suffers later. It doesn’t matter that we found a way to justify it earlier, the pain is real now.
It’s the same with every excuse we make—we have to pay an emotional penalty in the future.
This pain invariably lowers our self-esteem and if it drops enough we may soon find difficulty moving forward. We get stuck in a place of wallowing in our self-pity.
As we continue in this state we will, over time, begin to believe we don’t deserve success at all. In that case, we either stop striving for it or sabotage ourselves from achieving it.
The only way to get our esteem back up is to be who we are supposed to be and do what we are supposed to do. That means no more excuses.
“Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” —Eckhart Tolle
Trap # 2- We miss growth opportunities.
Our greatest growth might be in exactly those areas that we are continually avoiding. If we don’t engage in them we don’t grow to our full potential. And that keeps us from living our most powerful life.
The things that are the most beneficial to us are sometimes the easiest to make excuses for. We might think that furthering our education or embarking on a new business venture is too hard or too scary, for instance. If we branch out in some new way we often fear failure and what others might think of us if we struggle or fall on our face.
Yes, things might be challenging to begin with but they get easier. As we commit to the things we have been avoiding we realize that they just weren’t as difficult or dangerous as we made them out to be. If we keep making excuses, though, we will never find that out.
We can only grow to our potential when we trust that things will work out and not be as difficult as we are imagining.
“Don’t give in to excuses that can keep you from really living the best life God has for you.” —Joyce Meyer
Trap # 3- Other people don’t really want to be around people who make excuses.
It’s true. You don’t like to be around people who give excuses for everything either. It’s just a negative energy that none of us wants. When we engage in excuses we lose influence. Our excuses turn people off and drive them away.
People want to follow people who can make things happen. When we can’t—or won’t—we lose their respect.
We can’t achieve success in a vacuum. Leaders need followers, teachers need students, salespeople need customers. Our journey to success also requires that we have people come beside us and help lift us up.
But, when people are put-off by our constant excuse-making they might be less likely to help us get to that next level. If somebody is going to invest in our potential they want to know we are committed, not ready to make more excuses.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” —Benjamin Franklin
Did I miss any? What is your biggest excuse trap? Comment below!
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.