Your Pain Is Leading You To Your Destiny
“Why does God allow pain?” This is a question I have asked many times. I’ve experienced plenty of it—everyone has. But I’ve learned it serves a powerful purpose, namely, leading us to our destiny…
Life can have its joyful times. Some of mine were winning a national championship, getting married, or seeing the birth of my children. These were all events that changed my life forever and in a good way.
But many of life’s events are also painful. Some of my more difficult times in my life were battling severe depression in college, losing my parents, or being laid off and struggling through the 2008 housing crisis.
None of those latter things were fun. In every one of those cases, I wish that I didn’t have to go through them. But, those events were ultimately beneficial for me and I believe your own pain is equally beneficial for you. Here are three points my own pain has taught me:
1- Learn To Surrender
The first lesson for me was that, for the most part, I didn’t have a choice.
I will admit that I could have taken more positive action regarding my depression. Depression is something that we can gain an upper hand on by removing things that are dis-empowering to us and leading us to depression.
But, a lot of my depression was just—depression. It was a difficult time for me and I admit I didn’t gracefully pass the test.
There was nothing I could do to avoid the painful loss of my parents at all. Health failed them both and it was all beyond my control. Maybe that made it even more painful.
And, of course, I am in the building profession and there was nothing I could do to avoid the burst of the housing bubble and the loss of my job. I was scared to death, though. The one thing I knew really well suddenly wasn’t an option at all.
It’s important to understand that we don’t always have control over the events of our lives and the painful things that happen to us. We need to grasp that so that we can learn to not place blame on ourselves. It’s been empowering for me to shift from self-anger and disappointment to a resignation that these things happened regardless of me.
When a painful event has nothing to do with me, I have to let it go. When I do I can find that the greatest freedom can come from resignation.
2- Pain Refines Us
Second, painful times refine me and shape me into the person I need to be to fulfill my destiny.
I am stronger for surviving depression. I am more compassionate after the loss of my parents and value life more. I have even realized design or building does not have to be the only pursuit in my life even though that is what I was most comfortable with.
Even though these were painful events I went through I wouldn’t be who I am today without having experienced them. And without the painful events of the future I will not continue to become who I am supposed to be.
I really believe that any time we experience pain it grows us and shows us.
It grows us by making us stronger and it shows us by redirecting our way until we are eventually—finally—in the promised land of our destiny.
3- Pain Leads Us
Which leads me to the biggest lesson about pain. The time up to and including the day I experienced my calling is one of my most painful times in my life. The pain I felt was in the form of shame and self-hatred. These feelings are some of the toughest we can know. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t shake them.
But that pain did something very beautiful for me. It forced me to change my perspective if but for a moment. Because of that, the experience was possibly one of the most life-changing events of my life. It propelled me in a new direction to a much clearer destiny.
Pain is like a portal. It takes us from where we currently are and wormholes us to somewhere further along in our journey. This brings to mind the shortcuts in the Mario Bros games. Taking the right tunnel puts a player MUCH further towards completing the mission.
Our lives are a mission, too. We each have a calling and everyone has a destiny; a place we end up when we have successfully completed all of the challenges.
But sometimes life feels like a maze and it’s easy to get all turned around and feel like we are never getting anywhere, let alone our destiny. This is how my own life felt.
I realize now that a big reason for that was I was trying to avoid confronting painful things in my life.
When it comes to the pain portals in our lives we can avoid them or we can go ahead and step through. As we do, even though we might not realize it at first, it changes our progress by changing us. It redirects our path and points us closer to our destiny—never farther away from it. Confronting pain leads us through the maze of life. Step through enough of these portals and we find our way out of the maze and at the finish line.
Some portals are a big jump along the path like the experience of my calling. At other times, the pain is a long succession of tiny portals that give small adjustments on the path. Even if you are currently way off course, make enough small adjustments and you can turn 180 degrees!
But if you don’t walk through any portals at all your chances of finding your destiny in this great big universe is infinitely small.
Before my calling and the pain, I felt I was headed for nowhere at all. Thankfully, I have a God who helps me find my destiny by placing the portals in front of me. And, just when I think I’m doing fine, boom, I look up there is another one begging my obedience to step through.
Take Away
Yes, I do believe that God brings pain into our lives but I believe He does for a reason. In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he comforts them with these words in chapter 8, verse 28 (NKJV):
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
All things have a purpose, even the painful ones. But nothing God brings us is so difficult that we can’t bear them.
Don’t try to escape the pain of life. Confront it. As you do, it will lead you to your destiny.
What is your most grateful, painful experience? Please comment below, I would love to see how in hindsight it has benefited you.
Hello, my name is Aaron Force. I’m a blogger based in Seattle, Washington. I’ve been spiritually-minded for most of my life. Unfortunately, I’ve also lost my way during much of that time. I felt a seed of greatness hidden somewhere deep down inside but was blinded from it. That is until I experienced an honest-to-goodness calling and moment of awakening. I would be lying if I told you I had it all figured out. But I’m here to tell my story and maybe, just maybe, help you become aware of an even more amazing universe than the one your rational mind already knows.
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.