Be Real, Not Right
Perfectionism and fear of failure can keep us rigid and ineffective. These traits can hinder our success and successful connection with others. A little authenticity and humility can go a long way toward how the universe responds to us.
Perfectionism has been a struggle for me my entire life. I’ve often been so consumed with worrying what other people will think of me if, heaven forbid, I mess up that I become so tense I actually prompt the failure I’m trying to avoid.
This has become recently prominent in my life since I’ve started public speaking.
For somebody who is already self-critical of performance to put myself under the scrutiny of an audience is a struggle. I found myself rehearsing and practicing to a dizzying degree. I worked so hard to get every word exactly right and not leave anything out.
It seemed the harder I worked at “pleasing” my audience with my correctness the less impressed they were. There is something about that mental struggle that comes through so strongly that even the least perceptive person will see it.
My calculated words were stiff and somebody could easily see that I was searching inside my brain for the right ones at the right time. I knew deep down that this just wasn’t working.
Then I was inspired with a thought that came into my head that changed my thinking completely—
BE REAL, NOT RIGHT. (tweet this)
Be Real, Not Right
You should have felt the relief that came over my body as the realization sank deeper.
People want authenticity. They want genuine hearts worn on sleeves. They want somebody just a little imperfect, just like they are.
There was something that immediately convinced me that I could do that.
As I prepared for and delivered my next speech I repeated the mantra to myself over and over—BE REAL, NOT RIGHT.
And you know what? My audience loved me! People really do want real people and not someone trying to be perfect.
A wonderful plus was that I enjoyed MYSELF way much more. What a stress relief to just roll with any mistakes as if they were no big deal.
Brene Brown captures my feeling this way:
“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”
The end result of not trying to be perfect was success. My freedom to be imperfect and just do my thing took my relatability to an all new level.
Trying too hard is often the cause of speeches, or relationships, or business ventures missing the mark. We’ve all seen it.
Take Away
If you find yourself struggling in how people relate to you, try this. The next time you are in an interaction allow yourself to make a mistake. Then give an apology but don’t actually sweat it. Just roll with it as if it is no of no concern at all.
Just test it and see what the reaction is. You will find that people will begin to connect with you in ways you never thought possible.
It’s because you are not trying to be a false identity such as a manifestation of your ego. Your authenticity and humility allow the power of the universe to flow through you because that’s the kind of energy it runs on. Anything else is just a kink in the fuel line.
When all else fails, remember, be real, not right.
Hello, my name is Aaron Force. I’m a blogger based in Seattle, Washington. I’ve been spiritually-minded for most of my life. Unfortunately, I’ve been carnally-minded for at least as much. I felt a seed of greatness hidden somewhere deep down inside but was blinded from it. That is until I experienced an honest-to-goodness calling and moment of awakening. I would be lying if I told you I had it all figured out. But I’m here to tell my story and maybe, just maybe, help you become aware of an even more amazing universe than the one your rational mind already knows.
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.