How To Pray To God When You Are Pissed To Pieces At Him
Far too many people believe a certain picture of prayer and are left without answers. I don’t believe prayer is always quiet and holy and constrained to the pews of a church. Don’t constrain your emotion in the presence of God or you might not find your answer. Forgive me if the concept presented here is offensive. But, by the grace of God, I have had several spiritual breakthroughs in life and merely aim to share my experiences.
King David was one of the most anointed people to ever have been used by God. This was the same David who, as a young boy, defeated the giant, Goliath, giving the Israelites the courage to defeat the defiant Caananites. This David became a conqueror and of course, King. He was also the author of most of the Psalms of the Bible.
Through his writings, we can see how he ached for answers from God and this shows all throughout this book of prayers and songs.
The Prayers of the Man After God’s Own Heart
We can plainly see in his words his unwillingness to hold anything back from God including his frustrations.
Take a look at some of the language used in David’s prayers to God. Try to picture the frustration in his voice as he lays it all out and try to recall if you have ever felt this way:
Psalm 22:1-2 NLT
1 My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
2 Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.
or…
Psalm 42:9-10 NLT
9 “O God my rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”
or…
Psalm 35:17 NLT
17 How long, O Lord, will you look on and do nothing?
Rescue me from their fierce attacks.
Protect my life from these lions!
and how about this one…
Psalm 13:1-3 NLT
1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Do you feel his pain and his frustration at God?
It’s easy for me to modernize the words and hear them in MY own voice full of emotion and stinging sarcasm. I can imagine yelling these words to the sky with tears of anger pouring down my cheeks. It’s easy for me to see this picture because it has been my own story quite often.
My Own Times of “Expression”
There have been numerous times in my life when I bore all to God. These moments were absolute messes complete with anger and frustration and swearing.
Even as a child I can remember being in the backyard flipping God off for some gripe I had. I was not even a Christian or even the least bit spiritual but I was airing my concerns to God.
Where does that come from? I wasn’t a spiritual believer but knew if I looked up and yelled it would make me feel better and somebody might even listen. And you know what? I’m positive God heard my complaint and it moved Him.
Most of my cries of outburst came as an adult. Many centered around my frustration at how inept I was or how dumb I was to not be able to figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
These were the times I was at the end of my rope—at the end of myself.
In these moments I just felt lost in life. I couldn’t figure things out, what I was supposed to be doing, or why things came so easy for everyone else. I could not resolve this level of frustration on my own and no one could hear that kind of pain and take it but God.
If anyone would have seen my fits of rage they surely would have thought I was completely crazy and called the authorities. I’m talking the kind of anger and screaming that could have popped blood vessels.
Do I think that offended God? I will tell you this, He’s seen far worse from me. But this I do believe—I think the honest expression of His children touches Him even when the tone is anger. Is that odd to say?
Life Parables
I can think of a few times when my own children or wife have expressed real anger at me. These were times of yelling and crying and slamming doors. It hurt, yes, but it never destroyed me. If anything it got my attention that this person is serious about some kind of change happening. I felt their true feelings. We got somewhere.
Jesus always used real life for parables so I have no doubt that I can use real life to understand Him better.
A child, especially, but even adults, can have undeveloped coping skills. When the stresses become more than we can bear we sometimes have to release that any way we can. If we can’t get it out we begin to die inside.
If you are dying inside don’t create more limits by isolating yourself. Remove the limits in any way you can and go to your Father. He will hear you!
Share Your Heart
As a father myself I want to know the feelings of my children. When they are hurting, even if I am not the cause of it, I want them to express their need to me. Anger is sometimes the form that expression takes and if it helps my children I will bear it. I will love them through it and at the end of it.
If you are angry pour your heart out. He made you to be human and to come to Him as human. We are creatures of emotion—He made us that way, He understands it.
John W. Ritenbaugh says in his commentary on Psalm 55:17-21:
“God intends that our speech with Him arise from the very depths of our present situation and that our prayers’ emotional content will vary from time to time. Sometimes we will be downright angry and upset. As we can see from David’s example, we do not have to worry about being angry or upset before Him.”
The American Bible Society sheds light on David’s prayers this way:
“Passages such as the Psalms remind us that God can listen to and handle our most violent anger. Fortunately God responds to anger better than people usually do! God has been listening to this kind of prayer for ages.”
Even the venerable Billy Graham confirms my point with this statement:
“Will God get angry at you if you get angry at Him, and refuse to have anything more to do with you? The answer is “No”! Even when we’re angry at Him, He still loves us and yearns for us to turn to Him for the comfort and encouragement we need.”
Will God Hear ME?
I believe anyone, a follower of God or not, can express their deepest hurts to God and He will hear it.
Reach out to God even if—especially if—you are not particularly spiritual. If you aren’t a follower of God, what exactly do you have to lose? Is He going to be angrier at you for turning to Him? If your angry grievances are the first He has heard from you I really do think He will take it.
If you really are so confused, so desperate, so lost— you are already feeling those emotions inside anyway. You are already saying them whether your words are audible or not. God isn’t deaf to it.
If you are in a place of desperation, let it fly. Give expression to the God who made you that you aren’t smart enough to figure it all out. File your grievance. Air your frustrations.
At the end of it all here is what will happen: you will essentially have expressed that you are a limited human being and that there is no help but can come from the One you are angry with. I think God uses that. He uses it because in a weird sort of way you are coming to Him from a place of humility. You are admitting that you are finite and human, He is God, and that He is the keeper of the secrets. It’s not as fair as you would like and you are admitting that.
Seek God’s Answer
But after all your desperate pleas of frustration don’t put it on a shelf and go back to turning the television on and tuning God out. What you need to do if you want any chance of an answer is to get really quiet for a few days. I stress, “Very quiet.” Find alone time. Soul search. Think about the things you said and the frustration you felt. Chew on them for a while.
When you wait patiently for an answer, my experience is that God answers it. So keep seeking God no matter how long it takes. Keep humbly petitioning.
It is the seeker that God answers, not the prideful who have no use listening for answers from God. He honors the humble, whoever they are, and despises the proud.
Get Receptive
One of the best ways to settle into a humble state during this time is through gratitude. After your fit and while you wait for your answer find the things you really are grateful for. Now is the time for appreciation.
Wouldn’t you agree that appreciation attracts a response? If someone begins to appreciate you doesn’t it warm you up to them?
To appreciate someone is to open yourself up and to show that you are receptive. At the opposite end of the spectrum, few things will turn a person off more than someone being closed-off and rejective of them.
If you want an answer from God you’ve got to be receptive. It’s just universal law.
If you have a spouse or significant other and you get in the fight-to-end-all-fights do you avoid your partner forever? You might for a while. And then you might pretend as much.
But at some point soon you are just hanging out in the other room and tuned in to see whether he or she will acknowledge you and your pain. You pay attention to the signals to find some kind of clue, some kind of an answer, that they are turning their heart back to you. You pay attention because you really do want reconciliation and to not go on in misery forever.
And your partner doesn’t stay distant long either. He or she is also searching for your receptivity. When the time is right, the healing is brought. But only if you are receptive to it.
Take Away
The things that bring such honorable things as freedom, or restoration, or new clarity tend to be messy and even a little painful. What the expression of that pain does is purify you. It brings clarity. It dispels confusion and communicates your human essence.
Don’t be afraid to take your pain straight to your Creator, the Creator of the universe. Honor Him when you can but when you have no other way to communicate… COMMUNICATE. Remember, God faithfully responds to those who seek Him.
Hello, my name is Aaron Force. I’m a blogger based in Seattle, Washington. I’ve been spiritually-minded for most of my life. Unfortunately, I’ve been carnally-minded for at least as much. I felt a seed of greatness hidden somewhere deep down inside but was blinded from it. That is until I experienced an honest-to-goodness calling and moment of awakening. I would be lying if I told you I had it all figured out. But I’m here to tell my story and maybe, just maybe, help you become aware of an even more amazing universe than the one your rational mind already knows.
Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to educate others about the nature of an expanded consciousness to evolve humanity. Aaron unexpectedly experienced his own profound awakening and ego transcendence in 2015 and soon understood that the qualities of his own experience (a greater expansion and evolution in his life) could be applied to mankind collectively.